once again.

how time flies.. it's more then a quarter of 2013 already.
as i aged, my memory seems to depreciate, so it's best that i jot down all the events and thoughts manually again.
i have been avoiding to come back posting stuffs on here as i hate the fact that knowing others will be stalking and publicizing mainly unhappy thoughts.

*dont ask me why am i back on this again. i just want to (:

so, it's been almost a year. 2013 had been an unforgettable and heart-wrenching year for me. i had gained alot, also, i had lost someone important in my life. it's a life changing situation for me. this was a wake up call for me and had me changed eventually. i was used to be so protected from everything and anything, not being spoiled like a brat but more like i'm surrounded in warmth and love which many would envy.  however, as the saying goes, nothing last forever. protecting shield has now worned off, i'm here to stand alone, learning to be more independent then usual. it's always been a grey area that i dont wish to talk about nor showing it out. i've to stay stronger to be able to move on for a better life. but, the truth is, deep down, i'm feeling all cold, weak and alone. i hate those sympathizing looks and redundant consoling words on my raw open wound. maybe, that's why , i had decided to pull up the walls around me in order not to allow anymore pain inflicted.

nevertheless, i'm grateful to have my boyf cheong to be supportive, although he's being a pain in the ass sometimes, he's around to guide me somehow. so he's one of the gain i have. Speaking of which, we had decided to settled down and get a home of our own! we have applied for the BTO in April '13 at Bukit Batok. i have received our Q number but it wasn't a hopeful one. out of 790 units for 4-room, we had a Q num of 1196! like seriously.. and our appointment date is on 29aug. that's going to be in 4month plus time, i'm afraid by then all units will be wiped out. oh well, a little disappointed, but we have discussed to pin hope on the next up coming BTOs. not the May '13, i dont really fancy those areas though. We'll cross our fingers for the upcoming ones.

it's a tad too lengthy for a first post. haha. shall end here then. i'll be updating stuffs on my work, it's been a pain too. sigh.